Sunday, December 16, 2012

Not as it should have been...

     This weekend was our joyous trip to Santa Barbara...a time to celebrate family.  A time to laugh with our Grandchildren.  A time to build memories that as I like to say,  "touch my heart for a lifetime".

     We drove with Christmas music playing, singing along and counting the hours til we would be together.  We passed flags at half mast and wondered if maybe a local responder had sadly lost their lives.

     Meghan called us and asked if we could tell her the address of our weekend home again, and so I turned on my IPAD to check the email with the information.  As the screen came up,  there was a news flash....and Meghan could hear me gasp.  "Mom, did you hear what happened" and at that moment the joy of our weekend was changed.

     I only had one request of our family.  To please not have the tvs turned to the news, to please not spend our moments attached to computers that would describe the horror.  I only wanted to hold my family close.  Jonathan accused me of wanting to live in a bubble, and he is right.

     But I rememembered an afternoon I spent with Meghan in her classroom.  She was rewarding special students with a "lunch with the teacher" and I brought along the treats.  As we all sat and ate and laughed,  there was an announcement on the intercom...we were on "lock down".

     I watched my daughter calmly and quickly lock doors, close curtains and gather the children to a corner of the room.  We all sat quietly and closely.  I held one very frightened child close to my chest and two little boys sat quietly reading like this was an every day occurence.

     The sound of helicopters overhead was deafening, but more frightening were the footsteps we could hear outside the classroom.  We had no way of knowing if it was staff, police or a shooter.  I will never forget that day.  How proud I was of my daughter, how horrific it seemed that lock downs are not an isolated occurence. How grateful I was that no one was hurt.

     So this post is not one to share photos of our weekend. I want instead to share my grief, my prayers and my sorrow.

 As we celebrated Christmas with our Grandchildren this weekend I could only dream of the gift that I wish I could give them.  A world that was safe, a world that would cherish each child as precious.

       A Child was born in Bethlehem to lead our world in peace.....I pray tonight to that Child to ease the heartache of those who lost loved ones.  I pray tonight for us all.  




Jacqueline Korteland Boller said...

I found out about the horrible shooting during my job at school and was near tears as I went to attend to the children and looked at their little faces. How can anyone do something so horrible? But instead of crying, I hugged my student that I'm aide to and realized I would protect him and the others with all my heart.

Debby said...

It's more than I can take in. Our TV went off Friday I couldn't hear any more. It was hard to even look at our Grands this weekend knowing the evil that could take them from us at any time

Yvonne said...

I just can't watch the horrible news at TV. It is terrible. It must have been so scary for you, Meghan and the kids too that day at school.
Hope you will have a peaceful Christmas.

krista said...

Beautifully written. It's horrible & you were right to hold your family close and love them even more.

Meghan said...

Very well said Mom. I love you more than words could ever convey.